A lot of what I write comes from life. Now, don't worry, our personal conversations and your trials and tribulations aren't going to show up suddenly in my next novel. I always ask permission before I use specifics. My friends will now automatically say things like, "And you can use that in your book" or "Okay, I've got something for your next book". So many of the best novels are those that present people as they are, in all of their hilarious, loveable, and broken ways. Don't get me wrong, I've loved many a story with a talking sheep or an android with a heart of gold, but often the ones that really get to me are those that dig at the complexities of the human person.
Books like Sweet Divinity are so obviously inspired by who I am and what I've experienced. Like Amanda Jane, I grew up on a farm and then left home and now live in a bigger city (or at least the suburbs). I, too, find it difficult to reconcile the parts of me that were formed in the country with the rest of me that loves the diversity of experience in a larger hometown. The opening scene of the novel comes from a completely true event that one of my friends experienced in her childhood. While the details are mine, the hilarious circumstance is all hers. And although I'm not a baker like Amanda Jane, I do love a yummy baked good. If you follow me on Instagram, then you already know that I have no resistance when it comes to donuts. Especially the fluffy yeasty ones with that chocolate icing that's slightly firm on top and messy once you skim the surface. I think I sense a metaphor here...
Reliance, my literary fiction manuscript, was of course inspired by photographs I purchased at the country fair last year, an experience I've written about on this blog. However, much of the plot of the novel comes from my life. Several years ago I had a relative who was succumbing to cancer. He had been instrumental in my life, positively, but also negatively, and I struggled with his deterioration and decline. During the period of his struggle, I learned that he had a second, secret family, and this news shook me to the very foundation of who I am. I questioned everything I had experienced in childhood. I questioned everything I knew about him. I questioned the validity of all of my relationships. It was grueling. I tried to write during that time and I could not. It frustrated me, because I believed that if I could purge myself of the pain by transferring it to the page, then I would be okay. Of course, this is not what would have happened, but it couldn't anyway because I simply could not write. I couldn't write a poem, a paragraph, a sentence. It was as if all of my emotional stores were used up. I had nothing to give. And so I lived through that experience (with the help of an amazing counselor), but it remained unwritten. My husband actually collected various "artifacts" from that time and boxed them up, as he put it, "for when it's time to write the novel". The time finally came, and that novel is Reliance.
I'm now beginning work on the sequel to Sweet Divinity. I had a vague idea of where I wanted Amanda Jane's story to go when I wrapped up her first novel. There were several main plot points that I was certain of, but I was still waiting for her to tell me how she would develop as a person. I love sharing her journey, and I want to make sure that I do it justice, that I allow her the emotional development she deserves. And so, for good or for ill, life always provides. This summer has been spectacular so far, but one thing I know for sure is that there will always be another challenge, and that challenge has hit me this week. I'm grateful that, as a writer, I can face my challenges as opportunities, and I can write my way through them. I'm grateful that this time I don't have the emotional block I experienced in the past. This time, I know that I, and Amanda Jane, are ready to live through it. And thus the blinking cursor becomes a manuscript.
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