In many ways, 2019 kicked my fanny. It began with the recognition that I needed to leave a career I had loved for fifteen years, and it ended with a week during which I had a hospitalized child, Sweet Divinity launched, and my grandmother who had helped raise me and who had been the biggest supporter of my writing suddenly passed away. So many tears were shed through the emotions by which I was overwhelmed that week. As I think about last year, I am struck by the emotional upheaval of it all.
On Christmas Eve we were gifted a clear ornament with our family's name written on it along with "2019". The four of us gathered at the kitchen table and began to write our memories of the year on slips of red and green paper. We wrote about all of our struggles, but we also wrote about our great memories: my trip to Europe, my daughter's first roles on the stage, my son's last year of preschool, my husband's first tattoo. There was so many that we ran out of paper strips. We curled the papers and placed them in the ornament as reminders of what 2019 meant for our family.
It was the most challenging year of my life, but I believe that out of these challenges I have grown a stronger, more inspired woman.
Books of 2019
I read 54 books in 2019. Here are my top-rated books, in the order in which I read them. You can see all of the books I read on Goodreads:
Gmorning, Gnight!: Little Pep Talks for Me and You by Lin-Manuel Miranda
Possessing the Secret of Joy by Alice Walker
A Bound Woman is a Dangerous Thing: The Incarceration of African American Women from Harriet Tubman to Sandra Bland by DaMaris B. Hill
Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance
The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead
Becoming by Michelle Obama
Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans
Questions I Am Asked About the Holocaust by Hedi Fried
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott
By far, the best book I read this year was The Nickel Boys. It was a difficult read, but I haven't been that moved at the core of my being by a novel in some time. Required reading for all.
What I'm Watching
I haven't gotten to see as many movies as I like this year (thought I did manage to see all of the Best Picture Academy Award nominees), or to spend as much time watching quality television (and it isn't worth the pneumonia I had last year to get in some binge hours!). That said, here are some movies and television shows I've been enjoying this year:
Black Panther: Smart, relevant script, beautifully shot and perfected cast. I've watched it a couple of times this year, and it keeps getting better!
Roma: This was my pick for Best Picture, and I stand by it. A subtle, heartbreaking, beautiful film shot in the classic style we've lost in a lot of film. Bring the tissues.
Aladdin: Perhaps this is a controversial choice. I absolutely adore the original animated film, and this movie is not listed in competition with that one. To me, they're completely different. This film had all the charm of the original but with some changes that I appreciated and found smart and sharp.
Frozen II: Let me be straightforward, I thought this was better than the original. I know, I know. It's okay to disagree. Perhaps it's because I've been on my own journey of discovering where I'm meant to be, but this movie really spoke to me this year, not to mention that "Into the Unknown" is incredible and Olaf's recap of the first film had me laughing so hard I cried.
Knives Out: Man, I love a murder mystery, especially when it's brilliantly cast and perfectly twisty-turny.
Downton Abbey (the series): I rewatched the entire series with my daughter. It was like going home. I felt the same about the movie, though it wasn't one of my favorites of the year.
Victoria: I love PBS. They just get it right. But that cliffhanger. I mean, we all know what happens, but it doesn't make it any less shocking.
Outlander: I'm totally on this train. I can't explain why I care so deeply about Jamie and Claire, but maybe it's the fantastic acting and beautiful film work.
The Crown: I'm late to the game on this one, and, looking at this list, I don't know how I haven't watched this show yet, considering my obvious love for British aristocracy, but I'm here now and I'm all in.
Jane the Virgin: I'm so sad this show is over. It was such a smart exploration of family, and I loved following Jane on her publishing adventure--it kept me going on mine.
The Masked Singer: This should, by all accounts, be the dumbest show on television. When I describe it to people, it sounds ridiculous. And yet, it's FANTASTIC. It's the only show my family gathers together to watch live every week.
Music
In 2019, I was able to check two concerts off of my bucket list: Fleetwood Mac and Elton John. I love live music, and I love discovering new artists. While one of the highlights of my musical year was the release of Taylor Swift's new album (my favorite songs are "False God", "Cruel Summer" and "Afterglow"), I also discovered Todrick Hall and Meg Myers, and celebrated the release of new music by Lana Del Rey. My daughter and I announced that "our song" is "Down to the Honkytonk" by Jake Owen, and I rediscovered my love for "Halo" by Beyonce and "American Girl" by Tom Petty. I made a playlist titled "You Are a Queen" that I listened to in my challenging times. Here's the list:
"Don't Take the Money" by The Bleachers"
"Fire Escape" by Andrew McMahon and the Wilderness
"Inside Out" by Britney Spears"
"You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift
"Style" by Taylor Swift
"Work B*tch" by Britney Spears
"Halo" by Beyonce
"Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child
"Glitter" by Todrick Hall
"Let's Have a Kiki" by Scissor Sisters
"American Girl" by Tom Petty
Writing
The publication of Sweet Divinity has kept me busy this year, but I've been working on both the sequel and on Reliance. I'm excited to see what 2020 brings for these works. The sequel for Sweet Divinity is beginning to take shape. I've established the theme, and I've already found the characters in some hilarious shenanigans. As for Reliance, I've recently made some discoveries about a couple of the characters that certainly change the game, and I'm excited to follow them down the road and into the forest.
Looking Ahead
I often look to the new year with trepidation, a byproduct of the anxiety struggles I've written about on the blog. It's a big unknown, the new year, and that makes me nervous. But this year, I'm excited. Maybe it's because 2019 ended so horribly, or maybe it's because next year simply has to be better. The only plans I have for 2020 are to take my daughter to go see Hamilton (tickets are purchased!), and I'm super good with that.
I wish you a fantastic 2020. Embrace your creative self, believe in your gifts and talents, and use this year to embrace the amazing person you are!
